I am a firm believer that one of the most challenging things in life is to feel alone in your pain. This has certainly been true in my own life. There were times I desperately wanted to hear someone say, “Same here.” I needed that level of emotional support. About 15 years ago, I got …
Foster Care
The African Proverb, ‘It takes a village to raise a child,’ is particularly relevant in the realm of foster care. The journey of welcoming a child into your home mirrors the experience of bringing your first child home from the hospital—filled with uncertainty and the question, ‘Now what?’ There’s no manual or guidebook to accompany …
A fast-growing area of foster care policy is “kinship care,” when extended family members step up to take care of children at risk of going into the system. Part of the boom in kinship care is because official federal policy encourages states to find kinship placements before they turn to foster care. Another reason is the …
If you’re hoping to adopt a child, becoming a foster parent is often a great way to bring into your home a child who may, under the right circumstances, become a part of your family. Each year, around 50,000 children are adopted from foster care, and there are over 100,000 children in foster care waiting …
I stared at an email from our social worker stating that my husband, Gerritt, and I would not be approved as foster parents in the province of Nova Scotia. Our case would instead be deferred until we sought professional counseling. That was in 2013. Later we learned that we required further scrutiny, but it wasn’t …
Setting up for an evening training, I looked forward to sharing the impact of foster care and adoption on the biological children in the family. As the participants entered the classroom, I was stunned at who they were. Yet, the group looked like a room full of empty nesters. Overall, I was expecting young couples …
Inside a Foster Home: The Real Story Several years ago, I was given this blessing, “May you be covered by the dust of Jesus.” The quizzical look on my face prompted the pastor to explain his blessing to me.It was a contemporary version of an ancient Hebrew phrase, “In the Dust of the Rabbi.” The …
Elisha sat across from me in a booth at a local restaurant, as we talked about the impact of foster care on her biological children. “Why is my six-year-old daughter, Alise behaving just like my new foster daughter, Sara, who is four? She is throwing tantrums and now is quite oppositional and defiant, just like …
It’s easy for parents to overlook the impact of foster care on children when considering bringing a foster child into their home. The following stories paint the picture well.It seemed to Camie that she had told her daughter, ten-year-old Alise, for the tenth time, “Share your toys with Susie,” their new foster daughter, age eight. “You …
Disability rights movement is a civil rights movement advocating for those with disabilities to have equal rights.
The realities for youth aging out of foster care too often include loneliness and struggle. However, there are ways we can help transition aged-out foster youth so that they have better opportunities for a successful future. Youth aging out of foster care deserve to be seen not for the problems they face but rather for …
Three-year-old Jake walked into the garage where his foster dad worked on a wood project. The loud sounds of sounds and hammering filled the garage. Almost immediately, Jake became agitated, putting his little hands over his ears. Jake noticed an old pair of earmuffs on the workbench, walked over to them, reached up, and put …
While attending a pro-life conference earlier this year, I listened to a lecture on adopting children from a different race. The two presenters were talking about a term they called “transracial adoption.” To my surprise, much of the presentation consisted of the two white women explaining, to a predominantly white audience, why it was concerning …
Both kinship and licensed homes are feeling the pressure of growing foster needs. As I mentioned on the Common Good podcast with Brian from and Aubrey Sampson, people are closing their certified foster homes. Many say, “I can’t do this work” or “I can’t care for my relative because I lack the support and resources …
One way that we create order out of our unknowns is by sorting things into categories. Humans seek to find the connections between seemingly unrelated items. While this may work for kitchen organization, it can fall very short when looking at children, behaviors, and relationships. We tend to build buckets where we put things we …
It is summertime! Or, as I used to refer to it when I was a little girl, it is “Funnertime!” And what better time of year to come up with fun summer activities for foster families? I became a Christian when I was 30 years old. Early in my walk with the Lord, I remember going to church one …
It’s so exciting! “Gotcha Day” is finally here. We are finally a family that is undisrupted by caseworkers and court dates. For most adoptive parents, this is a day they have looked forward to for a long time. It can be a celebration for family and friends who have known about the adoption journey. Some …
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Within three months, the Blacklidge Family gained three children in foster care. After many years of changing case plans, those three children joined the Blacklidge Family forever.
Children who have been in foster care, like Susie were wounded most in the context of interpersonal relationships, and they will heal only in the context of healthy, nurturing, interpersonal relationships.
